bye bye college life!

 there i have it, i am no longer succumbed to the arbitrary unscrupulous power and authority of ___. there i said it, i have enough of their loopholes, their lack of rectitude in whatever they do. i am convalescing from a sickness within the heart that i was not aware back in new york. somedays, i think i am not cut from the same piece of fabric. and i am (or was i?) a hot-headed girl, with a temper to kick but some days, the anger & the fire within seems to have simmered - not because it has been necessarily downed and dumped under by the pragmatics of the world - but it has evolved into a cool-headed kind of simmer; a laissez-faire and a fuck you to the system. i may seem like a waif, harmless and doe-eyed, but i am so exhausted and sick of being bullied for my visage and unassuming naïveté. i am gimlet-eyed enough to cut through the bushes and thorns of bullshit - the absurdity, the careless and mendacious way in which they abused their power, to psychologically & mentally bully us mere students, undergraduates helpless and delirious to graduate from this holed up place. what a nice way to round off my semester in university.

while reading bertrand russell’s essays & hong bee lim’s autobiography, i get so green and sick with envy on how much they genuinely and passionately extol the virtues of studying in cambridge, where those years in the academic bubble was their heaven. the formative years and schooling years of ‘infinite delight’ and how much my undergraduate education pales in fire to theirs. i am empathetic over the fact and am partly a product of self-education, the skills i have learnt a product of non-academic pursuits but i long for those ideals of being nested in a sequestered ivory tower. it doesn’t even have to be a cambridge but somewhere far away from the iron-wrought claws. funny how the spark and interest in politics saw me combing through articles on american politics, to discussing with Y on american political thought and the electoral process. this coming from me is a shocker because i dare say if you question few months ago! me on my interest in politics, i would have sneered and casually laughed it off with the sentiments of “too apathetic to give af” but there you go, a sudden 360 degree transformation. it might have been my history & biography module that have moulded these sensibilities but maybe somewhere deep within, i had always had a shaping beliefs and values that saw no outlet in the political spheres but only in the literary spheres. slow down, child. you are still but a child and learning so much about the world everyday. it’s an oyster and its people can scare you with their empty hearts and souls but you gotta learn how to fight off the demons that tries to silence your heart and voice and doors. slow down, there’s still much time. stop panicking. slow down and enjoy ma. you said you would.

"Gold is the idol they worship."

"Gold is the idol they worship." 

Wide Sargasso Sea, Jean Rhys

Jean Rhys is a fine writer. Reading Wide Sargasso Sea closely for A Level Literature was a delight and an agony in itself,  here was a female of determined, purposeful clarity whom had a glaring vision to articulate her heart's anguish at her own warped societies. Oddly enough, her voice and frustration at her society became heard. She dealt with several sophisticated themes such as identity, corruption but what was highly contentious and intriguing was her exploration on the impact of money and Gold in her society.

Gold corrupts the mind for the pursuit of gold is almost or always driven by human greed. And greed has never did anybody any good. Moreover, we are increasingly becoming obsessed with the chase - the chase for gold or the Gold Rush. Quantitative standard of living indicators such as HDI, real GDP per capita has been on the rise, more and more countries are developing at an alarming rate. Economies are increasingly becoming more advanced and yet, citizens of developing society are becoming increasingly dissatisfied. The dissatisfaction of our society as a whole is attributed to plenty of different and interplaying factors such as higher standard of living and our terms

But I digress, I like to believe that the major contribution to the discontentment in today's society is our perspective and our consideration of the worth of money.  In other words, we place Gold on the pedestal and forget that gold or money is essentially a medium of exchange for goods and services in a market economy.

Money is an abstract conception, a conceptual tool that was created centuries ago to quantify or to put a value to the good and services that are being traded. It has always been used as a form of exchange of material goods between two individuals. What essentially drives a market economy, in a sense, has always been people's rationale and justification for the exchange of goods and services. Furthermore, Economics addresses its own limitations of being unable to account for immaterial and intangible goods. Hence, money is fundamentally a flawed measure of an economy.

However, the point of contention is not the flaws of money or even the flaws of our economy but the narrow minded perceptions of the society. A functioning society not only constitute the economical well-being, it also constitute the psychological and social make-up of its people. We use an imperfect measure as a definitive tool. We use money to govern our lives - we attempt to put tangible values to objects or simply put, we price an object based on demand and supply forces. Yet in itself, the hidden demand and supply forces are not accounted for. Prices are inaccurate measure for they can only give a tangible value. They are unable to encompass the true value of the object. And ironically, even with all these fixed assumptions and imperfect beliefs, people still grasp and worship it. We forget that success and happiness should not be measured by worldly materials,

I would like to posit that Money does not make the world go round. Yes, money is still important to individuals for it is fatuous to not hold any savings or material wealth. You will still need a reasonable modicum of wealth and worldly goods to survive, be happy and successful. But it is not an end in themselves but only a means.

"Generally those who have achieved great things have from the start been rich or had a sufficiency of the world's goods." Giacomo Leopardi

Ultimately, money is only a mean. When you work harder for money, you sacrifice happiness, quality times that could be otherwise shared with your loved ones. Your material wealth comes at the expense of intangible objects which are as equally significant but unable to account for under the limited measures. A former King of Bhutan coined the "Gross National Happiness" which measured both quantitative and qualitative. In comparison, even during the Medieval times, social well being, cultural, security and mercenary trading or diplomatic and professional ties to other kingdoms are all indicators of a healthy kingdom. A strong kingdom and ruler does not sacrifice one for the other and instead work at building a well rounded kingdom where the "economy", social, spiritual and psychological make up are constantly being improved. In fact, a society must be measured by its happiness. And as individuals of a society, we must be able to constantly reassess and prioritize our own values and definitions of happiness.

Money and happiness may share a relationship but don't let it define your happiness. Define your own happiness. Don't let Gold become your life. Don't be fooled into believing that Money makes the world go round.

You, yourself, the bearer of thoughts and values, make your world go round. You use money as a tool to succeed, to do the things you want, to be happy, not to make it your happiness.

“The problem is not material expansion; it is material expansion in the absence of an equal degree of spiritual growth. And it is a mistake to suppose that it is material progress itself that has damaged our spiritual condition.//It is more accurate—and more practically useful—to see the causality running in the opposite direction. It is the weakness of our grasp of spiritual goods—of our attachment to truth, beauty and goodness—that has rendered material progress unsatisfactory in crucial ways.” 

John Armstrong, In Search of Civilization

University education for the body or the mind?

People have been telling me that a Liberal Arts education is useless because dozens of liberal arts graduates from USA comes out with no jobs. And moreover, for a conservative and traditional society such as Singapore, a liberal arts degree seems hopelessly futile.

But you know what’s wrong with today's education?

People don't chart their own education. They don't think and question.

They only think within the spheres and confines of the boundaries set by their society.

Let’s share the common basis that education is an investment, you may get greater returns and you may not. But throughout history, there have been a pretty good indication of reaping larger marginal returns from being educated, that’s why the pattern of ‘greater marginal returns’ have led people to erroneously assume that ‘If you get into college, you will be guaranteed a job.’ It’s true to some extent, because a degree used to reflect your intelligence and critical thinking.

But in our generation today, there are the unemployed, degree holders, dozens of them, What happened? The mindset of the people.

It's presumption. It's almost bordering on arrogance and superficiality but the people that undergoes the college process are what’s wrong. People come into college with the assumption that college would guarantee a job. But the reality is, at the end of the day, college is a tool. An university is supposedly meant to educate the people to become thinking global citizens and not guarantee high paying careers. University is not meant to make careers, it is meant to shape you to become a better, serving citizen and individual to the community. The high-paying career is not the true purpose of higher education, it is only an additional reward and incentive.

The problem is people take up degrees with such misconceptions and assumptions in their mind. A liberal arts education, or in fact any education, can only benefit the user when the learner knows how to apply the teachings in his or her life. Liberal arts (studying about Aristotle, Socrates, Renaissance etc.) educates the mind and the soul only if it is internalized. A Medicine discipline supposedly trains and equips the students with the specialized medical skills and the right aptitude for moral reasoning. The discourse and tackling of ethical issues are part and parcel to a Law student. All these disciplines demands rigorous and intellectual exercise of the mind.

Education is essentially all about internalization, assessment and reflection. Never study for the sake of acing your examinations or even passing it. . When you hold this belief in your mind, you limit yourself and subsequently diminish the value of the education because you are no longer studying for the joy and pleasure of learning. You no longer learn and improve your mind.

Being educated is questioning, challenging your opinions, world views and then synthesizing these lessons into your life. An university education is for the mind.

So if you go to a college having the wrong assumptions, any college degree and education would essentially be worthless. My advice? Don’t study for a sake of a degree: learn, educate yourself. The German word ‘bildung’ encompass the philosophy of a life long search and pursuit for self-improvement . See college as another station in your life long discovery and improvement and the magic will happen. You will eventually reap the greater returns.

Make the most out of your education.