Wisdom Tooth

All right, so there is the odd shame of wandering eyes, the persistent throbbing and trembling of my jaws: been nursing a ginormous swell, twice the size of my face - scratch that, maybe thrice - post-wisdom tooth extraction. Chewing is the furthest thing I could do now without the possibility of engorging and aggravating the pain that is my swollen gum. And I just really want to sleep this off - doze off from all that painkillers and antibiotics hoping that I will wake up when the pain and swell has subsidized and when this is all over. A bit too melodramatic for my everyday life but life right now, needs a certain form of drama even if textual and imagined, has been a series of trying to adapt back to the humidity and heat of Singapore, dealing with eczema outbreaks, the daily routinized life of university and the sidelined activities of trying to get my (then) citizenship bank in Malaysia settled, hanging out with M during the weekends, changing my lens for my glasses, Chinese New Year, applying for several startup jobs (because a two day week is making me bored), reading multiple readings on Islam, Malaya and Southeast Asia in the vain hopes that I might be able to crank out an essay or two when the deadlines come. I think I pretty much checklist most of what I have mentioned but there is a complacency that seems to settle - I like this sedentary mode and lifestyle, this careless and carefree ennui.

 Not sure if I want to continue updating this, but whatever, we shall see.

Susan Sontag: On Keeping a Journal

Windy Day. 1958, oil on canvas, 98 × 173cm. The State Tretyakov Gallery, Moscow, Russia.

"Superficial to understand the journal as just a receptacle for one's private, secret thoughts - like a confidante who is deaf, dumb, and illiterate. In the journal I do not just express myself more openly than I could do to any person: I create myself. "  

Susan Sontag, Reborn: Journals & Notebooks 1947 - 1963

Diaries to read (again) (for the first time) (to bring over):

1. Sylvia Plath's Unabridged Journal
2. Susan Sontag: Journals & Notebooks 1947 - 1963
3. Anais Nin Volume 2
4. Anais Nin Volume 3
5. Goebbel Diaries 
6. The Diaries: All My Road Before Me  - C.S. Lewis 
7. The Wonderful, Horrible Life of Leni Riefenstahl (film)