I suppose one week of mindless waiting and meaningless wistfulness was not going anywhere. The end of finals mark the beginning of holidays and a period of endless anticipation. Waiting for an enlightenment? a revelation? I have no qualms about waiting, but this anticipation festers like the plague - in a blink, the sickness catches you and snarls you in his monstrous, asphyxiating grip. Anxiety gripping at your throats while the beads of sweat trailing the icy skin belies the apparent lethargy and listlessness.
Thinking back, some parts of me was hoping that the advent of the holidays could revert me back to the peaceful days before my university days where I was dedicated to my plans and goals. Suppose, the waiting was in anticipation for the days to unravel and unfold themselves into the earlier days but then again, I have come to realize that it is a fallacious notion. I think what made me so motivated then were the multiple reading of articles and blogs on positivity.
Then, I was living in the present - enjoying the process and the transiency of the moments. I need to immerse myself more in the present. Sometimes I forget in the simple and the good. Maybe, I should record them down and write/think more positive thoughts.
